Sara

I spent years living in freeze, In anxiety, in the fusion of disconnect, from my body, from my heart, from my spirit, I clung to my copings, the intelligences i could find to help me manage the isolate and aloneness of disattunement, and then i was found,
the shock of the ice water reminds me of this and it ignites me the wholeness that i am, that i always have been, underneath it all, there is warmth, there is goodness to be found, I am found, underneath all the layers and the sh*t.
Here i am In the layers in the sh*t.Here i am peeling away the tears, the heartache, the painn… I hold myself, I see myself in that space from afar, I am found again ,reborn, I can scream and shout and play,
there i was all along, coming back into aliveness never felt so good, and it is fair to recall that coming back into aliveness, ,holds the grief of the deadness ,and it is ok, It is all ok.